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Add  four or  5 more lives to my “alternate lives”

… did I mention that this is becoming really, really hard? Seriously, the first 5 were pretty easy, these ones are a pain! Try it yourself and see! It makes you admit things you didn’t know!

1) Mom. Actually, I would be a mum, because it’s slightly more edgy. I’d do the 50’s housewife thing, maybe not forever, but for a while. I actually like the idea of having dinner ready and the house clean when my precious husband gets home from work, handing him a nice, cold beer in an iced glass, peeling off his tie, and making sure he’s comfortable and happy. I’d have a great time taking care of the lawn and garden, doing the dishes, making the meals, spending time with the kids, etc. But only for a little bit. 😉

2) Kindergarten teacher! I’ve never actually admitted this to anyone before, but, seriously, how great would I be at that? I love learning and teaching and playing and making stuff and destroying stuff and not using punctuation! The kids creep me out a little, but I’m sure we can both get over that.

3) Art History Professor. Actually, this was my full-on intention when I was in college the first time. No one knows this, either, but part of the reason I didn’t do it was that Neil, my beloved stepdad, once told me “Don’t teach something you love, because the students will ruin it for you.” Those aren’t the exact words, and I don’t know if he meant it as a joke or as wisdom passed down, but it did make me think. After all the enthusiasm of thinking that I could give this spark of feeling, thought, imagination, and creation to hundreds and hundreds of students…. Suddenly I was thinking about years of following a curriculum… of teaching the same thing over and over and I couldn’t do it. Last year, I had to take (well, didn’t HAVE to, but it filled my credits requirements and I enjoy the class) an art history class… and, after the 4 years I had studied art history before, I actually knew more than our teacher. Sure, I didn’t know the dates as well as her, but I knew a heckuva lot more than she did when it came to context and ties between things, about form and style, the artists themselves… That came from an experience which was broader than hers. I thought about teaching the same 400 art pieces to changing faces (but basically the same classrooms) year after year, and I know that I would have been simply miserable. And I owe my greater content to Neil, whether he knows it or not.

4) Because we’re on these lines, I have a double- whammy. This one is technically 4a) English teacher, which, for the aforementioned reasons, I have pretty much dismissed, or 4b) Editor. I would be great at editing. I mean, please, don’t take this blog as an example of my editing skills, because here I am mostly letting loose. But I do follow the standards of proper grammar and punctuation, and I absolutely hate it  when I come across a serious error in a book. A typo is one thing… but… when I see something that some editor, somewhere has missed, I honestly consider going to their house, ringing their doorbell and giving them a great big punch in the face. But then, I remember that I am human, also… and I’d hate it if a stranger showed up on my doorstep just to punch me in the face. Maybe I’d bring a cheesecake, so that they’d get the point, but not hate me. Either way, how great would it be to have a preview to books, for life? As long as you were reading something worthwhile, I suppose, and not… Dean Koontz… how do they determine that? If you have more experience and skills, do you get the better books?

Ok, one,  one, one, One, ONe, ONE MORE!

5) Man, this is really, really hard! Rancher’s Wife.  These seem to have been getting more serious over time, but this one is a throwback to my childhood.. something I wanted to be at the age of 4 or 5. (oooh, a proper writer/editor would have typed “four” or “five“)… The ultimate reason for wanting to be a farmer’s wife was that I would then be “allowed” (haha, as if anyone today can tell me what I’m  allowed to do) to have any number of animals. I imagined a huge spread of property on which roamed goats, pigs, geese, horses, cows, cats, and of course, many, many dogs. And amongst them were the peacocks, pheasants, boars, lions, and occasional DNA-remodified-dinosaur (hey, just because I had the original dream at the age of four or five doesn’t mean that I didn’t add to it over the years). I have literally imagined myself living with/among any living animal that I have ever encountered. This dream later spread to veterinarian, which I eventually decided was not for me, because it mean that, although I would be doing a lot of good things for a lot of animals, it would also mean that I had to put a huge number of them down. And while I don’t disagree with putting an animal down when it is time, it is the thought of the sadness, timely or not, of having to put a pet to rest, that I couldn’t deal with. Simply put, I would weep with every single person who came through the doors with a pet and had to leave without one.





So there…. I caught up, at least a little bit.


Standby task : Think of a way to capture part of the experience of one of those ten lives, and make plans to do it.

Standby task : Determine which percentage of my life I typically give to the following: – spirituality – excercise – play – work – friends – adventure and romance Are they even? Why or why not? Which areas do I wish were a priority? Do I need to balance them more effectively?

Standby task : Think of ten tiny changes I could make, numbered in importance from one to ten : resolve to make one change this week

May 2009
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